10 March 2008

Stuff I learned last week - expanded version

Guys Code of Ethics

What I learned at lunch last Friday.

Cast of Characters: Me (you know me)
Bob (one of my new co-workers)
Sue (Bob's wife who, coincidentally, I used to work with a few years ago)
Other Miscellaneous guys I work with (we will call them Misc 1, Misc 2, Misc 3.)

Me, Bob and Misc 1, 2 and 3 went out to lunch on Friday. Somehow, it got brought up in the conversation that guys have this "Code of Ethics".

About 2 years ago, Bob had gone out to dinner and to a bar with Sue's sister's husband (his brother in law). Get that? Anyhow, so Bob and his brother in law went out to a bar. And Bob's brother in law started hitting on some women. And Bob's brother in law ended up leaving with one of the women. WTH??? Anyhow, so I said to Bob, "Did you tell Sue (your wife)"

His response: Nope.

WTH??? WTH??? OK. So your wife's sister's husband is messing around and you don't tell ANYONE? He said "Nope". To which all the guys at the table started nodding in agreement and said "Yup, its the Guy Code of Ethics". Seriously. Really? You don't tell your wife that her sister's husband is cheating? Apparantly NOT. Bob continued to tell me that he ended up coming home at 4 or 5 in the AM and had some cock-a-mamie excuse for being out and Sue believed it. So, he decided that she probably has stupid blind faith in the guy and wouldn't believe Bob anyhow. Ugh.

So, of course, last night, as Mark and I were about to fall asleep, I went into Interrogation Mode. Me: "Hey. what is it with you men??"
Mark: "There went any chance of going to sleep soon"
Me: "If my sisters husband was cheating on her, and you knew, would you tell me or her" Mark: "I dont know your sister"
Me: "I know you dont. But lets say you did"
Mark: "But I dont"
Me: "I don't care, would you tell me"
Mark: "Depends on the situation"
Me: "I TOLD you the situation. PRETEND sister's husband is cheating on her. You know. Thats it. Do you tell?"
Mark: "its really not that cut and dry"
Me: "Yes it is. What is this code of ethics you guys have"
Mark: "Really, all I wanted to do was sleep"
Me: "Whatever. Mr. 'I am avoiding the question'. It's all your guy ethics, right??? RIGHT???" Mark: "There is nothing that I can say that is the correct answer."
Me: "You can say that you would tell me if my sister's husband was cheating on her
Mark: "But I can't. It depends on the situation."
Me: "ARGH"
Mark: "ARGH"
Cue several minutes of silence.
Mark: 'I love you"
Me: "But if I had a sister that I was close to and her husband was cheating on her, you wouldn't tell me OR her. That's like condoning it".
Mark: "Am I ever going to get to sleep??"
Me: "Maybe...."
Mark: "Fine. I love you. I love your imaginary sister who you are imagining being close with who's imaginary husband is imaganiaringly cheating on her so I would tell you or her if I knew about it"
Me: "Thank you. I love you too. Good Night!!"
I don't think he meant it. But at least it got us both to sleep.


Karmyn R said...

That is just SOOOOOOO wrong on all accounts. Especially because its family. Bob's BIL should not have even tried something like that - because I think it puts Bob in a horrible situation. And yes - he should have told his wife.

Guys code of ethics? Um - No - that is a cop-out, I think. They just don't want to get their own butts in trouble.

min said...

Let's just become lesbians. It would be so much less stressful.

~JJ! said...

I agree with Min.

But I think I'm already a lesbian because my husband can be a woman sometimes...he loves gossip and I believe he'd run to tell me what he knew.

For the Love... said...

The Code of Ethics...learning as I go.

I have learned that they seem to have this whole secret vocabulary. Seriously...I would love to tell you a few of the phrases but they are ummmm....nasty. We were watching a movie on night and a male character made reference to one of these words and I was clueless...Rob laughed his butt off and then explained the term. I was not believing it...that could not be a term that all men knew and that I had never heard of...I called my cousin and brother...they knew exactly what it was...blew my mind.

Gina said...

Good grief! And to think, my son will grow up to be a freaking man! Ayyyy!

shuttle mom said...

Why can they (guys)have their code of ethics, but we can't? If that had been a sister-in-law fooling around, he would have told on her.

The Other Elle said...

Heh heh, I force my husband to have conversations like this just before he falls asleep too.

He says he has the worst nightmares after our "talks"!

I think he is going to have a nightmare tonight, after I bring up this "Guy's Code of Ethics" thing. Wonder if I should warn him?

Mama Drama Jenny, the Bloggess said...

You're cracking me up.

I think Victor would TOTALLY tell me but not because ethics. He's just a huge gossip.

PS. I think Mindy is hitting on you.