07 August 2007

My Broken Road

I am tempted not to write about this. Part of me thinks its silly. Part thinks if Mark decides to read my blog he will be pissed off at me for writing about it. But oh well.

When we went to New Braunfels a few weeks ago to check the wedding stuff out, we ended up in Austin visiting his friends. Mark was in a band in his 20's with his buddy "S". S was the singer and has a fabulous voice. S is newly divorced and shares custody of his beautiful adopted daughter with his wench of an ex-wife.

S asked what we were planning on doing for music at the wedding. I told him nothing. No real reception. Just the ceremony and dinner. He said "Do you want me to sing at the wedding"?

Well, yes. He has all the equipment (amp and whatever) and can play the guitar. S is a hard-rocker. I'm not. I said "but you probably won't like what I choose". and he said it won't matter, he'd love to do it for us. So I asked for "God Blessed the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts.

He and the few other guys went with me to his computer room and I pulled up this from Youtube. They made fun of it, but S got his acoustic guitar and played along. Picked it up quickly and sounded great singing along.

I was thrilled. Really. This song means a lot to me for so many reasons. My life before Mark was such a broken road. I was lost. And finding him made everything right.

Today I get an email from Mark. S (and these are direct quotes) isn't sure if he can do it b/c:

1. Fighting constantly with his ex-wife (WTF does that have to do with the price of tea in China?)

2. WOrking hard

3. Just not sure how it will turn out.

I broke into tears at work. This is not a huge deal, but it is. I am not getting the reception I want. I am not having dancing. I am not having the big to-do. I don't want the big-to-do, but who doesn't want dancing?

I think he just doesn't like the song that much. I think he is afraid to say anything to Mark about that.

Mark tried to tell him how much it would mean to me and to us, but who knows.

I know we can just play the CD but still, I wanted something personal. I wanted something different. Mark told me when S made the promise to do it "If S says he'll do it, he will. He has never not done something for me".

Well, he's trying to back out on me. On us. But really, it feels like its on me. I don't know what to say. To Mark. To S (thank god he doesn't live here so I don't have to see him).

This wedding is so not fancy. It's for me and my man. But i had my heart set on one or two things (maybe 5) and one seems like it's way gone.


Crap, I posted this like 15 minutes ago. I just keep listening to the song over and over. Now I am a big crying mess. Dammit I hate it when people let me down.


nikki said...

I really hope S comes though for you guys. I know what you mean. People letting me down and not following through with what they've promised is one of my biggest no-no's. (Great song choice btw.)

Phoenix said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. That just sucks that he'd back out on you, just because he doesn't like the song. What a rotten friend. I hope he changes his mind. If not, maybe see if you can download a live version of it and play it on CD or one of those ipod players. Make a playlist of everything you want to hear.

But it's not the same, I know...and if you want me to beat him up, just let me know. :)

Love the song by the way. One of my favorites right now along with the wedding one (forgetting the name) by Big and Rich.

Anonymous said...

Well, that's not fair. You didn't ask him, he offered.

I hope he pulls through for you. If not, I hope you and Mark can forgive him for his behavior.

I'm so sorry.

For the Love... said...

Awwww-I hope he changes his mind. Being let down like that sucks. So, just for you--I am willing to change my "back to school" celebration (champagne at 8am followed by naked dancing and a nap..) plans and go kick S's arse.

I really really really hope this works out...let us know.

Gina said...

I hope for your sake that he keeps his word.

A friend doesn't do something because THEY like it, they do it because YOU like it.

TxGambit said...

Hugs! I hope he does it.

I love that song too. It is sooo great. I was crying a bit listening to it. I love Rascal Flatts anyway!

Jessica said...

Awww...I love that song. I hope it all works out for you, and he keeps his promise. Otherwise, add me to the group of those who are more than willing to go kick his ass. I think we could totally take him!

min said...

jj's right. He offered!
So sorry, Margaret. You've been so stressed lately, I've been worried sick about you. Are you eating? Anymore fainting? Am I going to have to come pick you up and drag you to a day spa?