07 May 2007

Spongebob Squareboobs

Mammogram today.

First of all - I felt so completely violated. Did she have to basically feel me up??? My boobs are not meant to be turned in that way. Nor are they meant to be smooshed in each possible direction - basically in a giant square.

After that was the ultrasound. Which went kinda like this:

1. Tech goes to squeeze the gel on my boobs. Lid comes off and the gel goes everywhere. All over my chest. Down my side. Up to my neck. Into my hair. Down to my waist. An entire damn bottle of gel.
2. She kept making these noises. Kinda like "hmmmm" or "huhhhhh". Then she kept clicking and taking measurements of "things". I am not a medical professional at all, but there were these black-ish "things" that she would click on and put dots on the outer edges of it. She did that twice on my right boob - which by now has lost its square-ish shape - and once on that tender spot on my left. I asked her what was going on and she said "I am just the photographer, I have no idea". (LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE)
3. She leaves to room and tells me to get cleaned up (see #1) and get dressed. So I do. She comes back and says "Ummmm....we need to take another look at your left boob". After relentless questioning, she said "Something showed up on your mammogram". "WHAT THE HELL showed up". She tried to give me the same crap of her just being the photographer and I wouldn't buy it. Now I watched her. Whatever this "thing" she found was in a different spot on my left boob. One that I hadn't noticed was tender. Now I tried to feel myself up to see if it was tender. I, in my mind, imagined great tenderness. But I don't know. After the reimaging and taking more measurements of whatever this "thing" was, she said, "let me go have the radiologist look at it". She came back in and said "Well, we are thinking its a cyst, but we are not sure".

Bitch, seriously, stop your vagueness. It ain't funny. She wouldn't let me talk to this radiologist either.

I have to wait 2-6 days for the results. I called the doctor's office and she said that they will call me as soon as the results come in.

Oh yeah, and the eye is finally feeling significantly better. Should be 100% by Friday. Moving day!!!

Oh yeah, and I am ENGAGED!!! WEdding date most likely early October.

8 comments:

Shrewspeaks said...

Hi!
I happened to link to your site through Pioneer Woman's...I have been through exactly what you experienced. I was 23 when they found my first cyst. I was FREAKED. BUT they have some great ways of dealing with cysts these days. I will tell you don't take "I don't know" as an answer and if your physician isn't making you happy...get a specialist! I don't mean a surgeon...I mean a Breast (don't let this word scare you) Oncologist...even if it is just a cyst they will take you and treat you with supreme dignity. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Either way take care...

Squareboobs....hysterical!

Heather said...

Love the title. Don't like the tech's attitude. They know exactly what they are looking for and what it could be. They are just not allowed to say anything until the radiologist has a chance to examine them. She at least owes you an explaination for her vagueness!
I can't stand it when they do this to people. Do they not realize that the stress of making someone who may or may not have something seriously wrong wait 6 freaking days?!?!
It will all be fine.

Karmyn R said...

hee hee - spongbob squareboobs.

I only have 4 more years to go before I have to start those dreaded things.

Whenever I hear stories like this Tech's attitude, I get so angry. They should treat you better than that and give straight answers.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Yeah, these techs aren't allowed to say much. They know exactly what they are looking for but they aren't allowed to tell you.

Get all the info from your doctor and if you don't like his/her attitude...get a new doctor.

Good luck.

Looney Mom said...

Oh wow. Praying that it's not something serious! So how does it work when you have NO boobs? I guess I'll find that out in a few years. *sigh*

And congrats on the ENGAGEMENT! I read your posts below: pretty ring and HOW COOL for him to ask your parents!!

Stephanie said...

Okay, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but as your unofficial nurse, I feel it is my duty...

The chickie-pie tech cannot give you any information no matter what she knows. A mammogram is a diagnostic test, and only a doctor is authorized to give a diagnosis. She could get into deep ca-ca for violating her scope of practice.

The radiologist could have talked to you, but most of them won't.
a) They feel that by talking to the patient they are usurping the ordering physician (the patient's regular doctor); and,
b) They often don't have very good patient interaction skills, hence them becoming radiologists and not some other kind of doctor. (Some radiologists do, however, and would take great offence at what I just said.)

Anyhoo, although that was all extreme suckage, it was the sad, crappy reality of the system as it is. The only thing she could have done diffently -- SHOULD have done differently -- is show some sincere compassion.

You've got it here, Baby!!

MamaLee said...

I get the same from my techs, and I HATE it.

Hope it's just a silly cyst, engaged girl!

ChrisB said...

these mamos are a necessary but painful experience; it's no fun having to wait for results. Good luck