05 March 2007

Dear Me

Dear Me (2003) -

Margaret - I know it's only been four years since we were together, but let me tell you a few things about you.
You are a wonderful, kind and smart woman. You have a heart of gold. You adore so many things - children, animals, your family.

It's okay if you are having problems getting pregnant. It just isn't in the cards for you right now. It isn't your fault. And you know what- if you want to adopt one day - that's great! That child will be as much yours as if you had birthed it. But know that there is nothing medically wrong with you. You aren't failing.

But there is so much more...So, so much.
You deserve so much better than who is in your life and the place that you are.

You are NOT dumb. You are NOT stupid. You should be allowed to have friends. You should be allowed to go out with people other than the one friend you are "allowed" to have. You are not a waste. You are not a pain in the ass. You are NOT ugly. You are not any of the things he says. You are not a bitch. Your family IS important. You aren't reckless and disrespectful.
You are who you are.
You have this strength inside you that you won't find for about a year or so. It's there. I know it's inside you. Instead of letting it peek out every once in a while and then have it hide back - let it show.
You have a world of strength around you. Don't worry - your friends and family will support you for leaving. They will be proud of you for leaving. I promise they won't be disappointed in you. I promise.
If you can't make it out right now - be strong. You will get to a point where you have the strength to leave him.
If I had the time, I could name a hundred or more things about you that I love. That's the most important thing. It doesn't matter if he can't name 2. It doesn't.
You are better than this. I know it sucks to hear, but you are. You are a fabulous person.
You made me who I am right now.
Me (2007)
All - this has been the most cathartic thing I have done in a while. For more "letters to me" - visit Miscellaneous Adventures of an Aussie Mom. It helps. I promise.


Anonymous said...

Very powerful.

Just stopping by for the party! Take good care today!

Heather said...

I'm proud of you for writing this. I know you've probably thought about it a thousand times, but writing it all out makes a big difference. You are beautiful and smart and sweet. You have the love of a good man now and you know it.

Anonymous said...

This looks very cathartic...good for you.

nikki said...

wow, i'm really speechless. good for you for finding the strength to leave, so many don't........

Karmyn R said...

Margaret - what a wonderful letter...especially knowing that now you are going to be married to a great guy and have such a positive future ahead of you.

(caught this off Mama Drama)